Kids of a certain age

B's comment was in passing, but it really struck me. I was talking about the field trip I helped out on earlier today and the behavior of the kids. He said he was so glad he'd never be that age again.

I agreed immediately, but after thinking about it I'm not so sure. So I started thinking about all the field trips I took in middle and early high school. All the notes I passed with J between classes. All the freaking epic 7th grade Core moments. All the crushes, some passing quicker than others, one lasting far far too long. Even though I am glad I'm not going to be that age again, there's certainly a nostalgia for it. And perhaps even a sense of missed experiences.

I feel like J and I should have documented our notes. I feel like I should have become closer to C sooner and started doing cartoon sketches with her. I feel like I should have gotten into DeviantArt more and explored photography and writing at the same time. I feel like I should have been bolder around guys at the race track. Good god, that would have caused mayhem. It's not that I regret not doing any of this, I just feel like that age is sort of incomplete. I wasn't the one to start a bus wide attempt to make truckers laugh. I wasn't the one to run around on a field trip with my friends, linking arms as we ran station to station.

It took a lot of control not to laugh when a kid made a joke with a swear word in it and instead shout out "Hey, language!" Maybe I'm not ready to be a teacher yet. I still relate to these kids too much, see too much of how I act when I'm around my closest friends in each of them. In one sense I hope two years changes that, but the general feeling is that I'm dreading that. I'm not ready to grow up. I'm not ready to leave "that age" behind. I never want to stop having fun with my friends without needing alcohol. I never want to forget what it's like to sit on cement and eat lunch outside. I never want to stop enjoying life the way I did when I was younger.