Shooting Stars

I was listening to this song while writing this post. It kinda sums up how I've been feeling lately.

I haven't been blogging. I'm really sorry. I've been uber busy. I got back from school, had half a week and then I was off to Alaska for a bit over a week. I've been back for just over half a week but it's just been a blur of laundry and racing. And now we have relatives over because my younger brother is graduating tomorrow.

Yeah, take that in for a second, some of you all have sibs graduating this year. We're old. Crap.

At any rate, Alaska was amazing. I'm going to volunteer at the Humane Society this summer for sure. It'll be awesome. I get to train doggies to be good. XD Seriously though. I do. And I get to take them on walks. Since one of my dogs is epileptic and can't really handle long walks, this will be fun for me. I might also go do this in July. If you're not bogged down with college courses, let me know if you want to do this! You can get college credit and you don't need ANY experience. It's a great opportunity if you don't have anything serious going on this summer. 24 days, rafting and backpacking. In the YUKON. Or other places. Seriously, I'm open for anything in July. I'd do this on my own, but I really really think it would be amazing to go with someone.

On the college front, I haven't decided Ball State or Mizzou yet. It's complicated and involves not just me, but other people. It's a terrible mess that I shouldn't have let my heart get involved with it, but I have and now it's taking over. I need to let my head do the thinking, like it's supposed to.

Things have been polar for me lately. One day is awesome, one day is horrible. Sometimes it just swings based on who is texting me. My parents are beginning to suspect something is wrong. How can I tell them that there is something wrong, but I can't do anything about it right now?

Halfway Gone

This has been a really challenging semester and it is easy to get lost in all that I have lost this semester. A friend. A sport. A team. A career. I feel as though I have lost half of myself.

But that ignores all that I have gained. I am coming into my own. I am not afraid to articulate what I want anymore. I am able to show my grief, to be open about my experiences. I have been broken, but I'm getting back up better than ever.

This coming year won't be easy, but I hope you'll stick with me and continue to observe me grow into who I am. It's the nuances, the details, the quirks that make life interesting. 2010 is not yet halfway done, but it's already shaped me more than any other year. I can only expect great things from the second half.

What to do When...

Your boyfriend tells you he might be bi.

DO: support and encourage him to explore his sexuality.
DON'T: break up with him.

That's what he wants me to do. Too bad I did the last one to encourage the first. Oops? More to come when I don't feel so terribly betrayed.

(morning edit: I've talked to two friends about this, and they both had very different perspectives, but they both made me feel like this was something I could handle and not drown in. You both know who you are and I just want to say I really appreciate your concern, kindness and understanding.)