(written sometime Wednesday night)
Good god it makes me frustrated. No wonder L is the way she is. I’ve been at her house for a full day and I have a constant headache from the constant annoying mixture of voices that are always always always shouting through the house. No one sees any need to be quiet. It’s 11pm on a school night. They have a freshman. He hasn’t done his homework. He’s playing Halo in the living room. L, her mom, her 18-year old brother and her two friends are playing Uno in the kitchen. Both are loud. The dad is sleeping, somehow.
They waste away their lives.
I have met so many people in the past 24 hours I can’t name them all. Better yet, I can’t name a single one, save L, who is going to a state school. The rest go to community colleges. And really, that number is rather small since most of her friends just smoke pot and bum off their parents. Most are about 20 years old.
It’s pathetic.
This is middle class. I didn’t know there was such a difference between middle- and upper-middle-class, but there is. Teenage pregnancies exist here. Pot is the drug of choice, but it’s not just used by a select group of people. Alcohol is so freely talked about. The dad had like four beers before heading to bed. Four. I never saw him without a beer in his hand tonight. The kids all talk about their adventures with alcohol in front of their parents without concern. One of L’s friends whom I’ve met a few times, B, speaks of a “wonderful float trip” she went on. She doesn’t remember it. When asked how could it be good if she doesn’t remember that, I am given an incredulous stare. “I don’t remember it. That’s what makes it an awesome weekend.”
Uh…right…
I didn’t realize how blessed I was to have intelligent friends whose concerns extend further than gossip about the latest boyfriend of their high school slut. I mean really, who the hell cares what Christy McCarthy is up to these days? Okay, so I might have gone too far there. But you get my point, right? We have concerns about our future. They are concerned about what she said he said that he heard from his girlfriend who heard it from her younger sister’s best friend who read it through text from her latest boy-toy…do any of you CA people know about this? I can’t believe this world exists and I am seriously reconsidering my friendship with L after this. These are the people she is really friends with and who have shaped her. Maybe I don’t actually know her as well as I thought. Maybe this is who she really is. And maybe I don’t like it one bit.
A word to those on the west coast: heed my warning, fly over this part of the country. I finally understand why they call it that. There’s nothing good that could ever come from here.
3 comments:
Judge L for L, not the environment she comes from. Just because you found a few really bad eggs doesn't mean you should throw away the entire carton. :)
In some ways our families are equally screwed up. Thinking about the future means high stress environment from elementary school all the way to grad school, which I'm sure a lot of your friends would find just as weird. College talk in the 5th grade? Please, that's not normal or completely sane either.
Wow. Well, I completely agree with Jezli. I mean, we may not have the sterotypical messed up families (drugs, sex and alcohol) but we have other issues. I seriously felt like throwing myself off a bridge during middle school and high school if I got anything lower than an A. It's not that I had those crazy asian parents, but it was the environment. I dunno, that's just one example. But I see what you mean. I'd rather have my issues than to have theirs. California/west coast is for me and I don't think I could ever leave.
Even though L may have grown up that way, she doesn't have to end up that way. Your friendship with her is super important because you can show her a different way to live life! I know huge responsibility... but I agree with Jezli and Nicki that yes her environment isn't what we'd think is normal, but that's no fault of hers. Hopefully she can change for the better after hanging with you :)
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