A Miss on the Radar

 Question: does this scream lesbian to you?

Because apparently to the gal working the Steak n Shake drive-thru it does. And to a female couple walking around Walmart.

But what is it about the outfit? Fedoras were once considered kind of "lesbian fashion" but every female (and a bunch of hipster male) celeb and their mom has been seen out in a straw fedora in the past couple of years. Plaid shirts, those too are lesbian fashion? Whoops, someone forgot to tell American Eagle, Hollister, Macy's, Guess, etc for the past 3 years. And it's not just that popular stores are producing these fashions. It's the way they do it. Sure, my plaid shirt is felt and rather quiet tones, but it's super fitted and show-y which makes it more "straight girl fashion." And sure, "femme" is a type just like "butch" is a type but "femme" lends itself more to 50s and 60s and pin-up. Which I'm not doing. And wanna guess the lower half? Not baggy jeans and Converse - had I done that maybe these looks and flirts would be warranted. But skinny jeans and boots.  Super tight skinny jeans! Like I struggle to get them down when going to the bathroom tight! And my loverly grey boots with heels.

I don't have much of a radar. I mean, I dated someone who's more attracted to men than women and had no clue until the relationship was falling apart. I've been friends with people for months before they're like, "Oh hey, I'm (not hetero)" and I'm floored. But I'm not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing.

On one hand, I think it's nice that I define people by their personality as opposed to their sexuality. And sexuality isn't something that concerns me too much. No, that's false. I'm interested in sex, and I'm very interested in how people come define themselves as sexual beings, but I'm not much concerned with knowing which team they bat for. So. It's good that I don't have a radar because it forces me to like people for other reasons? Something along those lines? (Can it really be that simple?)

But on the other, it's awkward to join a group of rugby girls and get hit on for a couple weeks and not realize it. Back when I started playing, I wondered about my coach for a few days when someone randomly mentioned her wife. And I was like, oh, that's simple, it really should have been obvious to me before. But then I started wondering about the other girls. And sometimes it became obvious because of their relationship history. So and so used to date her over there but she's bi now and they hate each other and those two right there have been dating for almost a year and the girl that's telling you all this, well she's the only other straight girl on the team (but hey guess what, she's bi now XD). I feel like life would be easier if I knew everyone's bunk buddy gender preference because then I could read their intentions a little better. Like are they being nice to me because I'm a new teammate, because they want to hook up with me or because they actually think I'm a cool person. (Probably a combination of the first two, most likely not the last one.)

And I'm completely ignoring transgender and those who have little interest in sex and a bunch of other categories and that's not necessarily cool either. But, and this might be a little rude, I feel like it's rather easy to identify a transgendered person. And someone who isn't interested, well can't a friendship develop just fine anyway?

I still feel like I should try and develop a gaydar. Not because it will be terribly important to have, but because I people watch enough that it would add to the accuracy of my statements. XD (Calm down, I'm mostly joking people!)