Acting (im)Mature

I've always been told by adults that I act older than my age. I wonder if they were really watching me. I think I act younger.

Oh, don't get me wrong, I know how to act older, I just choose not to most of the time. It's no fun. I always associate acting mature with unhappiness and problems and responsibilities that I, as someone who is not yet a "true" adult, has no business dealing with. However as someone who is technically an adult, perhaps I should start worrying about these things. But don't you just have those times where all you want is to swing as high as you possibly can at the park?

I don't know. I think society is messed up. Society seems to think I should be "having fun" with my friends at the mall or my boyfriend in the back of his car or at some party with a bunch of people I don't know. Not happily swinging in the park. Doing just this gets me many stares because I'm having fun at an age where I shouldn't be having fun that way. But society doesn't want me spending my parents money at the mall because that's a waste. Society doesn't want me making out with my boyfriend because that can lead to many other things of higher consequence. Society doesn't want me at some party because that could end up with me dead in the middle of the highway after causing some other poor kid's death.

I really do not understand society. Just because I fall into a particular age range, I am not subject to many stereotypes regarding all aspects of my life. I will not be hypocritical and shun them all, because I do believe that some of those assumptions hold true for most cases, but to look at someone and say, "I know exactly how you are," just because I was born in a certain year really bugs me. Maybe it's because of the whole tolerance thing I've got going on.

I guess this is how I'm supposed to try and convince you I can be mature. I don't think it's working.

So where does this all leave me? I'm still at the same place I started. Just another new adult wondering how to keep her childhood while at the same time growing up.

It's not exactly working for me.